Guide

LGBTQ+ dating safety

All the usual dating safety steps apply, plus a few more: guard your privacy so you are not outed, be alert to fake profiles used for extortion or entrapment, meet in places where you feel safe, and know where LGBTQ+ support is.

By the AltFTool team · Reviewed · 7 sources cited

Key takeaways

  • Control who can see you: use discreet app settings, hide distance and keep face photos for later if you need to.
  • Fake profiles are sometimes used to extort, out or attack LGBTQ+ people. Verify before you meet.
  • Meet in a public, LGBTQ+-friendly place where you feel comfortable, and tell a friend.
  • If someone threatens to out you or share images, do not pay; save evidence and get help.
  • LGBTQ+ helplines exist in many countries and understand these situations.

Why LGBTQ+ daters may need extra care

Most LGBTQ+ people date online safely. But some face risks that other daters do not: being outed to family, an employer or a community before they are ready, being targeted by people who hold anti-LGBTQ+ views, or being blackmailed with the threat of exposure.

In some countries, same-sex relationships or gender expression are criminalised. Human Rights Watch has documented cases in the Middle East and North Africa where fake dating profiles and seized phones were used to identify, arrest or extort LGBT people. If you live in or travel to a country with such laws, take extra care.

Protect your privacy

  • Check your app's privacy settings. Many let you hide your distance, hide your profile from people you have not liked, or use a discreet app icon.
  • If being outed is a risk, consider a profile photo that does not show your face, and share face photos privately once you trust someone.
  • Do not use your full name, workplace or a username you use elsewhere.
  • Keep your dating profile separate from your main social media accounts.
  • Be careful with photos that show your home, street, school or workplace in the background.
  • Set a passcode on your phone and on the dating app if it offers one, especially if others may pick up your phone.
  • When travelling, some apps can warn you or hide your profile in countries with anti-LGBTQ+ laws. Tinder, for example, shows a traveller alert in such countries.

Fake profiles, extortion and entrapment

Watch for profiles that seem designed to lure people rather than to date.

  • Someone pushes very quickly for explicit photos or a video call, then threatens to share them or tell people you are LGBTQ+ unless you pay. The US FTC has warned about this on LGBTQ+ dating apps.
  • A match insists on meeting somewhere private or isolated, or at an address you cannot check.
  • The profile is new, with few photos, and avoids any video call.
  • They ask detailed questions about who knows you are LGBTQ+, where you work or who your family are.
  • A plan suddenly changes to a new location at the last minute.

If someone threatens to out you

Do not pay or send more. Save the evidence, block and report the account, and talk to someone you trust or an LGBTQ+ support line. Our sextortion guide walks through every step.

Meeting safely

  • Video call first to confirm who they are.
  • Meet in a busy public place where you feel comfortable, such as an LGBTQ+-friendly café or bar you know.
  • Tell a friend you trust where you are going and who with, and agree a check-in time.
  • Get there and home on your own.
  • Hook-ups carry the same risks: tell a friend the address, check the person first, and leave if anything feels wrong.
  • If you are not out to everyone, plan what you will say if you bump into someone you know.

LGBTQ+ support lines

These services understand the situations described here. They are confidential.

  • United States: The Trevor Project (for LGBTQ+ young people under 25) at thetrevorproject.org or 1-866-488-7386; LGBT National Help Center at 1-888-843-4564.
  • United Kingdom: Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline on 0800 0119 100; Galop's LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 999 5428.
  • Australia: QLife on 1800 184 527.
  • Canada and elsewhere: findahelpline.com lists free, confidential lines by country and topic, including LGBTQ+ support.
  • India: for immediate danger call 112; for online threats or extortion use cybercrime.gov.in or call 1930. findahelpline.com lists further support.

LGBTQ+ dating privacy check

  • My profile does not show my full name, workplace or home area.
  • I have checked the app's privacy settings, including distance and discreet mode.
  • My dating profile is not linked to my main social accounts.
  • I have video called before meeting.
  • A friend knows where I am going and when I will check in.
  • I know who to contact if someone threatens to out me.

Want to tick these off as you go? Use the interactive checklist.

Frequently asked questions

How can I use dating apps without being outed?

Use the app's privacy features (hide distance, discreet mode, show your profile only to people you like), avoid face photos in your public profile if needed, do not link social accounts, and use a username you do not use anywhere else.

What should I do if someone threatens to out me?

Do not pay or send anything else. Save screenshots of the threats and their profile, block and report them, and talk to someone you trust or an LGBTQ+ helpline. Report it to the police or your national cybercrime service if you feel safe to do so.

Are LGBTQ+ dating apps safe to use while travelling?

It depends on where you are going. In countries with anti-LGBTQ+ laws, consider hiding your profile or not using apps at all, and check the app's safety settings before you travel. Some apps warn you automatically when you arrive.

How do I spot an entrapment or fake profile?

Be cautious of new profiles with few photos that avoid video calls, push quickly for explicit content or private meetings, or ask a lot about who knows you are LGBTQ+. Verify before you meet, and meet in a public place.

Where can LGBTQ+ people get support after a bad experience?

In the UK, Switchboard (0800 0119 100) and Galop (0800 999 5428). In the US, the LGBT National Help Center (1-888-843-4564) or The Trevor Project for young people. In Australia, QLife (1800 184 527). For other countries, try findahelpline.com.

Sources and further help

Last reviewed . This guide is general safety information, not legal, medical or professional advice. If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.

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