First date safety tips

Most of the work of a safe first date happens before you leave the house. A few minutes of checking and planning gives you choices later.

• Have a short video call first. It confirms the person looks like their photos and gives you a feel for how they talk to you.
• Do a quick reverse image search on their photos and check that their story is consistent. Our profile-checking guide shows how.
• Keep chatting on the dating app until you are comfortable. The app's block and report tools only work while you are on it.
• Keep your surname, home address, workplace and daily routine to yourself for now. A first name and a general area are enough.
• Pick the date, time and venue yourself, or agree on them together. Daytime or early evening is easiest for a first meeting.

The right venue makes it easy to relax, and just as easy to leave.

• Choose a busy café, restaurant, museum or similar place where staff and other people are around.
• Pick somewhere you already know, so you know the exits, the toilets and how to get home.
• Avoid homes, hotel rooms, quiet parks, empty car parks and anywhere you would need a lift to reach.
• Choose a place with good transport links or parking, so you can arrive and leave on your own timeline.
• If your match pushes hard to change the plan to somewhere private or remote, treat that as a reason to cancel.

Before you go, send a trusted friend or family member the venue, the time, your match's name and a screenshot of their profile. Agree a check-in time, for example an hour into the date, and what they should do if they do not hear from you.

If your phone or dating app offers live location sharing, you can share your location with that one trusted person for the length of the date and switch it off afterwards. Share it with your friend, not with your match.

Your own transport means you decide when the date ends. Politely turn down offers to pick you up or drop you home on a first date.

• Driving yourself: park somewhere public and well lit, and keep enough fuel or charge for the trip home.
• Public transport: check your route and the time of the last service before you sit down, and have a backup.
• Ride-hailing or taxi: book it yourself, check the car, plate and driver before you get in, and use the app's share-trip feature with your friend.
• Have money or a payment card set aside for getting home, in case plans change.
• Charge your phone before you leave and carry a small power bank if you have one.

• Keep your drink with you. If you leave it unattended, order a fresh one, and watch it being poured.
• Know your own limits with alcohol and anything else. You never have to keep up with someone.
• Keep your bag, phone and keys with you rather than on the table out of reach.
• Notice how they respond to small boundaries, like you choosing what to drink or when to leave. Respect for small things predicts respect for big ones.
• Do not agree to move to a second, private location on a first date, however nice it has been.
• Trust your gut. Feeling uneasy is information, even if you cannot explain why.

You can end a date whenever you want. You do not need proof that something is wrong and you do not owe anyone a long explanation.

A simple line works: "Thanks for meeting me, I'm going to head home now." Pay for your own share if you like, and leave using your own transport. If you feel unsafe, tell venue staff and ask them to help you get a taxi or wait with you. Many bars and venues in the UK and elsewhere take part in schemes such as "Ask for Angela", where asking staff for "Angela" means you need help discreetly.

If you think you are being followed or you are in immediate danger, go to a busy place and call your local emergency number (112, 911, 999 or 000 depending on where you are).

• Text your friend when you are home safe, even if the date was great.
• Turn off any live location sharing you switched on for the date.
• If it went well, keep the same pace with personal details. One good date is a start, not a reason to share everything.
• If something felt wrong, you can unmatch and block. You do not owe an explanation.
• If your date was threatening, pushed past your boundaries or did something that frightened you, report them to the app, and to the police if a crime happened. Our help page lists support lines in several countries.