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About this tool
Draft an apology using the six research-backed components, and catch non-apology phrasing like 'sorry if you were offended'.
An apology is more likely to be accepted when it contains six specific components: an expression of regret, an explanation of what went wrong, an acknowledgement of responsibility, a declaration of repentance, an offer of repair, and a request for forgiveness — the structure set out in Lewicki, Polin and Lount's 2016 study of apology effectiveness. This composer builds the message from those parts using your own details, scores how complete the result is, and flags non-apology phrasing such as 'sorry if you were offended' or 'sorry, but'. In that research, acknowledging responsibility mattered most and asking for forgiveness mattered least.
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The six components come from a published study of what makes apologies effective, not from generic advice.
Flags conditional apologies, 'sorry, but', passive voice, intent defences and corporate filler, with the reason each one backfires.
Responsibility carries 30 of 100 points and repair 25, mirroring the ranking those two components had in the research.
Expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong, acknowledgement of responsibility, declaration of repentance, offer of repair, and request for forgiveness. Lewicki, Polin and Lount (2016) found apologies containing more of these components were rated more effective, with acknowledgement of responsibility the strongest single element.
It is conditional. The 'if' treats the harm as hypothetical and shifts the judgement onto the other person's reaction rather than your action. Replace it with what you actually did: 'I'm sorry for what I said in the meeting.'
A short factual explanation helps, but it ranks below responsibility and repair, and it backfires the moment it reads as a defence. Keep it to one sentence, put it after you have taken responsibility, and never join it to the apology with the word 'but'.
No. Of the six components, the request for forgiveness ranked last for effectiveness in the research. It is optional, and it can feel like pressure — a concrete offer of repair does far more work.